Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you makers of 18 Again for finding one more thing that’s wrong with women’s bodies. As if needing to be a size zero, having porcelain skin and destroying even the tiniest bit of cellulite was not enough, we now get to worry about “feeling like a virgin” down there. Because, after all, that’s the single most important element to a happy relationship – one that makes you dance around like a crazed chimp and has 80-year-old grannies surreptitiously going online for a taste of the good times.

Well! Guess what companies who objectify women and create insecurities/flaws where none exist, it’s a scientific fact that the elasticity (and thereby size) of a man’s penis decreases with age. As does sensitivity. So, who is going to be the first one to come up with something to make men feel 16 again? And then create the most cringe-worthy and uncomfortable advert around it? You want to know what I am talking about? Take a look:

The wonder product – 18 Again, “a vaginal tightening & rejuvenation cream enriched with vitamin E, aloe vera and gold” (!) – promises to transform your old, tired vajayjay into the fountain of youth. Maybe if 18 Again was positioned as an experience enhancer for women, I would have not been as disgusted. But nope! It has to be tied with the chauvinistic notions of virginity, of keeping alive a relationship by pleasing our male partners, and the horrifyingly unrealistic expectation you should have a ‘virginal’ vagina even after giving birth. Oh! And while we are on the topic, the manufacturers of this wonder-gel really need to do some research on what age average urbanites lose their virginity nowadays. 18? Please give me a moment hour to stop laughing! In the meantime, they should also google Kegels. And try them.

Is 18 Again (or something similar) available in your part of the world? Have you seen it? Heard about it? Used it? Would you use it?