Damini. Amanat. Nirbhaya. Delhi’s Braveheart. The girl who can’t be named. The girl who doesn’t need to be named because she could be any one of us. She could be every one of us if the world doesn’t change its attitude. Right now.
Visualise the scenario: A 23-year-old physiotherapist goes to see Life of Pi in India’s capital city. At 9.30 pm, she boards a bus from one of the most upmarket terminals along with her male friend. And then life changes. Forever. Six men brutally rape and torture her as the bus drives round the city, passing 3 police jeeps on the way. They viciously hit her and her male friend with iron rods. He falls unconscious but she has no such luck. Instead, she is raped repeatedly, bitten all over her body and assaulted with an iron rod that’s rammed so violently in her nether parts that it (literally) rips her intestine out of her body. After about an hour of this most inhuman torture, she is stripped naked, robbed of her phone and money, then thrown out in the winter chill. Where she, along with her male friend – similarly stripped – lie almost-comatose for an hour as nobody cares to stop and help.
When she is finally taken to Safdarjung Hospital, hardened doctors shudder at her condition. Most would have already succumbed to the brutal injuries. But Damini – so named by the media as it means ‘lightning’, the force that both lights up and destroys – scribbles a note to her mother saying, “I want to live”. 10 days pass in a blitz of political half-truths and apathy as Abhijeet Mukherjee, a member of the Union Parliament and son of India’s esteemed President, goes on to say that the protestors are “pretty women who were dented and painted”. Unfortunately, he is not the only one. Even as millions of students take to the streets, self-anointed political youth leaders like Rahul Gandhi, Jyotiraditya Scindia and Sachin Pilot are nowhere to be seen. And instead of listening to the pain and fear of India’s women – who repeatedly try to make us understand how unsafe they feel – the government imposes Section 144 (prohibiting assembly of 5 or more persons) and assaults them with water canons on a freezing morning, lathis (sticks) and tear gas. And – incredibly – girls are molested at the site of the protests. In the midst of all this, the barely-alive gang rape victim is whisked away under the cover of night to Singapore’s Mount Elizabeth Medical Centre. Why? We don’t know.
And then life ends. On the 13th day of her horror, the young girl who had ended her day with a movie that fills us with hope, gives up her hold on life. And takes a family’s hope with her. A father who works as a cargo loader and put his entire life’s savings in his daughter’s education, brings back her battered corpse on a chartered flight. A mother who once stayed awake nights singing her daughter to sleep, numbly holds her now lifeless hands. Two young brothers are still trying to make sense of how the world around them changed so suddenly.
And a nation finally wakes up. Hopefully. Today, we all have blood on our hands. We are sorry Delhi girl because we failed you. Because, despite the chilling statistic of a rape every 20 minutes, we blanketed it with our famous chalta hai (“everything goes”) attitude. Because we advised our daughters to take it in their stride rather than teaching our sons the lessons of morality. Because after so many years, we have yet to implement the quick justice and punishment that would make a rapist think twice. Because we have not managed to make our streets safe or our cops accountable. Because we continue to vote in politicians who have no brains. Or empathy. Or basic ethics. Yes, today every one of us has blood on our hands. And I hope we look at it every single day and remind ourselves of this senseless tragedy till we can actually change the atmosphere that brought it about.
And that is the story of Damini. Of Amanat. Of Nirbhaya. Of Delhi’s Braveheart. Of the girl who can’t be named. But then, it’s not only her story. According to last recorded UN statistics (2010), 27.7 of every 100,000 women are raped in UK every year. In the USA, the number is ever so slightly smaller – 27.3 per 100,000. In South Africa, it’s 120 while in Botswana it’s 92.9. Then there is Sweden – surely one of the most “civilized” of nations – 63.5 of every 100,000 women are raped there every year. And these are only the cases that are reported. So many go unreported because of the way we tend to shame the victims.
The shame, though, should be all ours. Every one of us shares in the crime as long as we continue to turn a blind eye or (worse) take it in our stride. Remember that rape is not really about sex – it’s more about the power that certain men (or animals?) want to wield over women. It’s their way of “teaching us a lesson”. Leading political voices, on the other hand, try to explain away the gruesomeness by laying the blame on victims themselves – they wore jeans, they wore skirts, they went out late at night (9.30 pm – late?), they work outside the home, they went out (horror of horrors!) in the company of a male friend.
Really? A friend suggests that we women now do as they suggest: stay home. Don’t buy groceries, pay bills, spend our hard-earned money in shops and restaurants. Let’s not give them our time, our money, our confidence. It’s easy to tell women to stay in. Near impossible for the world to function if we decide to take them up on the suggestion.
I don’t know if that will work. But I do know that something has to work. Otherwise we are a nation doomed. A world that’s just setting itself up for more pain. Swifter judgments, stricter punishments, police reforms, common empathy. What do you think we need? Everything? Something else? Or are we doomed to live in this Taliban-like regime forever? Speak up! The world needs our voice today. “Damini” rests in peace. We haven’t yet earned that right.
Dessy says
Bravo! Well said! I hope change will follow this senseless tragedy!
anubha says
I hope so too. We didn’t respect her life. Let’s hope we can at least respect her death.
LizAnn says
I SO appreciate this article. WAY TO GO!!!! Use your VOICE while we still have the FREEDOM to. This whole story is so heart-sickening and you are 100% right- the apathy in this world is disgusting. I put a link for this article on my FB. Thank you for being a voice for this poor girl and so MANY others.
anubha says
You are so right – we have to use our voice before we lose it entirely. Thank you for caring about this issue!
Aparna says
I want to re-post this on my blog. Very heart felt and well said
anubha says
Thank you and please go ahead! Want the world to know about the horror.
Usha Charan says
Anubha, I am proud to be your mother. You have taken a small step towards spreading awereness in ‘Damini’s’ case. I hope more and more people move forward on this so the movement doesn’t die out. We have to force the Government to wake up and do something – not only about these 6 rapists but all such animals who continue to plague us every day. Frankly, I am ashamed to be an Indian at this moment, when it seems there is only CRIME and NO JUSTICE!
anubha says
Thank you, mom. I have learnt all this from you only… !
Joshua says
Today, I feel sad to be a Human, ashamed to be an INDIAN.
I feel guilty by because of my Inaction.
This movement should not die.
How dare they Rape!! How dare Delhi Police lathicharges the People of India!!
anubha says
Joshua, I completely agree with you. We have let our own apathy go on for too long. It’s just one article and one candle. But if every one of us takes just one step, the optimist in me says we might just start overturn the kind of world that allows such animals to thrive.
Ravindra says
Do these beasts including the politicians know what a women undergoes after being raped. Shame on every responsible Indian. We are a nation with scant respect for the women. A lump grew in my throat on the hearing the news of her death. Millions of Indians were devastated. My dear countrymen, please help our women to lead lives respectfully and with dignity. Help in creating tough laws against rape.
anubha says
No Ravindra, seems they neither know nor care. But it’s voices like ours that will – hopefully – turn the tide. Hopefully.
aman says
if the woman dress properly according to indian culture i hope not a single rape will take place in india-just see fashion..every man who see these dress think that he should raped the girl if he got chance…..if u keep a meat open and asked to cat plz dont eat meat..it is possible? that cat will not attacked the open meat or open milk..if u wear a gold chain and show to thief what will he do??/.plz sisters we dont want to see any other Amanat case in india-cover yourself
anubha says
Aman, I am sorry but I disagree with you. In fact, your comments are offensive in the extreme. Women are not “meat”, nor are they possessions. And if I want to wear a figure-hugging dress or a short skirt, that definitely does not mean that I am inviting a man to rape me. Or even to be drawn towards me – like most women, I dress to please myself. In fact, my father who is sitting next to me, says that if men have this kind of thinking, they should be forced to live with their eyes covered. We are living in a civilised society and women should be able to remain safe every time and everywhere. This is not the animal world – is it?
Rashmi says
Aman, do you know how many girls get raped even when they’re wearing salwar kameez?
Are you saying the girl was ‘asking to be raped’? Just the way you’re asking to be punched and maimed just by saying that?
How do you know what she was wearing?
Screw you.
LizAnn says
Actually, all the concealment makes the problem worse as no one is adapted to any type of nudity creating a precarious curiousity. Having been a victim myself of sexual assault as a child, I’ve learned that perpetrators always blame the victim. And why not? They had no heart nor conscience to begin and they most certaintly are not going to magically grow one when they get caught, rather, in a last-dtich attempt to squirm out of their disrepute as a pervert, they assault at the victim a second time. “She shouldnt have wore that nightgown. She was flirting with me,” etc . . .
Actually, your statement is so ignorant and devoid of any basic human compassion that to address it here almost seems futile. People who rape are demented- PERIOD! End of converstaion. There reasons have no room for ANY validation. They need to be removed from society.
Swathi says
Lets assume for a moment that the reason why women get raped is because of the way they dress. But what excuse do you have fro those who rape children? What about Dalit women? What about women in rural areas which are far from being modernised? And what would excuse would you give for those who harass women travelling to and from work/school/college and who are dressed in salwar kameez or sarees?
Aman, your attitude is the reason women get raped! Not because of the way we dress. Women are not sex objects! You have to stop looking at them that way. The minute you follow Indian culture and give women the respect they deserve, our country will be a much safer place to live in.
Rashmi Prakash says
Aman, you mean the girl was asking to be raped? Just like you’re asking to be punched in the balls right now?
Usha Charan says
Aman, only mentally sick people can think that way. I feel if you will see a well you will jump in it. According to your comment your theory will be – what to do it came in my way. Disgusting. People like you only spoil the atmosphere of this country.
Brenda Rodrigues says
I love my country. I love India — but not the gutless people ruling it under various political regimes. Reading your blog made my blood boil and I wept spontaneously. Unless stringent rules are brought in for rapists the world over, women will continue to suffer. Life imprisonment, hanging or whatever is not the solution. Hit them where it hurts most. Shocking as it may sound, I believe castration will be the biggest deterrent to these crimes. Hope someone has the guts to pass this law.
Nauruz says
Brenda’s suggestion of castration will probably be met with responses like ‘But rape has little to do with sex; more to do with power/domination/anger’, or, ‘The death penalty does not eliminate murder’. and other such pseudo socio- psycho-babble. The simple demonstrable fact is – In Saudi Arabia rape and murder do happen – but very rarely! Haven’t you ever wondered why??
Maneck Bhujwala says
If men follow their Indian culture and religion, which teaches respecting women outside their home as mother, sister and daughter, depending on their age, and if family, friends and society support this attitude, they would n ot entertain thoughts of treating other women as anything less than that and justify subjecting them to forceful action on their physical bodies. When wrong thoughts come to mind, a man should think how they would feel if their mother, sister, wife or daughter was subjected to forceful invasion of their privacy.
Unfortunately, society gives mixed messages about women. At home, boys are treated as superior to girls and their bad behavior is often ignored. Women themselves often treat other women like daughter-in-laws badly, sometimes collaborating with their sons in their mistreatment and even murder. Movies and music videos increasingly brainwash audiences with sexual images, making scenes of rape arousing and entertaining instead of offensive and looked down by society. Policemen who are poorly paid and even inspectors who earn decent salaries can be bought out to let rapists and child molestors go free..
It is ironic that in a country where God is worshipped in the female image of mother – Durga, Laxmi, Saraswati, etc., that men and women forget that about women in society, and stoop low to commit horrible atrocities on them.
Just me says
I cant tell you how much this saddens and scares me. How can they pretend this isn’t a big deal when it is.
I love how you and the others in India see this as a problem and a catalyst for change. I have a soft spot for india somehow too because my grandfather is originally from India so yeah, this affected me a lot more on top of the fact that I’ve been a strong advocate for women’s rights. Keep doing and supporting what you believe in. Love the blog, am obsessed with your posts.
anubha says
Thank you! Let’s just hope we don’t forget this harsh but necessary lesson. Where are you based?