A lot of you have been writing to ask why I have been so silent these past few weeks. Why the blog has not been updated often enough, why the social media has been erratic and why there is no answer to comments and mails.
It’s been this way because my life was turned upside down a few days back. Someone who was extremely close to me passed away very suddenly and very unexpectedly. He wasn’t family by blood but my family is incomplete without him. Over the last 15 years that I knew him, he brought so much joy, laughter and comfort in my life. And when he went, suddenly and unexpectedly, life just seemed to stop. My words dried up and everything just felt surreal – like I was seeing everything through a mist that just wouldn’t clear. I tried to write, to move on, but the words just wouldn’t come. All I could think was that he was too young, that he went too soon, that there was no reason or logic to his death.
And that if I had known he would leave us so soon, I would have savoured every single moment that life offered us in the meantime. I wouldn’t have excused my way out of that last lunch, wouldn’t have skipped that movie, would have delivered that box of Swiss chocolates that’s still sitting on my bookshelf, would have… could have… should have… . But that’s the nature of life… it goes on, complete with all its regrets and what ifs. And you just never know what’s around the corner.
Yes, life does need to go on. So, I have done what works best for me: closet myself away from the world for a while and run away to Paris. There is something about this city that soothes me and calms me down. It’s like coming home to a place where my soul can regenerate. Yes, even in August when the city is empty and chilly. Maybe especially in August, when the city is empty and chilly – like a mirror to my inner self.
I know this too shall pass. Everything does and life goes on. I just need this short break, so please bear with my silence for just a little bit more. I will be back in a couple of days. I promise. In the meantime, I leave you with a poem that speaks about all the small ways in which we let life and the people we love pass us by. Because I have learnt now that we have to cherish the small moments – they are the ones that turn out to be priceless in the end.