Breathe.
That’s the best advice I received this past month. Not ‘meditate’, not ‘yoga’, not ‘take time out’, not ‘de-stress’.
Just. Breathe.
Because, somewhere along the way, life becomes so strangling that it feels your very breath has been cut off.
That’s been me this past month-and-a-half. Struggling to breathe.
These past days have left me exhausted beyond belief. They have been fraught with battles that have drained every ounce of energy and happiness out of me. Battles in a war that began far before I even entered the picture. I have been lied to, cheated, pounded, battered, left on the side of the road to fade into oblivion.
And that’s why I have been missing from this blog and other social spaces – in the virtual and physical realm. There has simply been no energy. Or time.
It’s still not over. There’s a long road ahead but I will take my breaks as they come. And my life lessons. Not to speak in clichés but I feel nothing has happened in vain if it’s taught you a thing or two. I am grateful for the lessons learnt and am sure they will make the journey ahead easier. After all, even the spikiest of thorns come with a rose attached.
A massive, from-the-heart thank you to everyone who’s been writing in to check on me. And I am sorry if you haven’t received as much as a single reply. I just didn’t know what to say. Sometimes, words fail even those who literally write for a living.
So, just this one time, I am going to bring out some lyrics by Jasmine Rae that describe these past few weeks better than I myself could at the moment.
Oh, and now I am BACK. So, come visit for regular updates ❤️
I can get up early, I can be on time
I can read the paper, and seem completely fine
I’ll be smiling when you see me, yea I’ll do the best I can
Just don’t ask me how I am
I put on my raincoat so I can’t feel the rain
I cut my heart off of my sleeve, so I can’t feel the pain
You can ask about my day, and I’ll tell you about my plans
Just don’t ask me how I am
I’m almost sleeping through the night, and my routine hasn’t changed
Company can come around, and I can entertain
We can go out on the town, I’ll drink and laugh and dance
Just don’t ask me how I am
We can talk about the weather, you can ask about my job
But don’t ask me for directions, I’m completely lost
And there’s nothing I could tell you, to help you understand
So just don’t ask me how I am
Just don’t ask me how I am
Image: Thais Ramos Varela / Stocksy
LISA BEARD says
I understand about taking time out for yourself. You were missed. I am glad you are back, but you did the right thing, always take time to heal and put yourself in a better place.
Lisa Beard
anubha says
Thank you so much, Lisa. This community means the world to me.
Theattachedstranger says
Just wanted to say take care. Hope this passes soon for you. If you ever need a stranger to talk to you know where to.. take care.
anubha says
Thank you so much. I may call on that shoulder 🙂
Sarah says
Sometimes life throws you curveballs. Or pulls the rug out from under you. Sometimes it feels like an etch a sketch. I’ve been through a couple tough years myself. And whatever it is, you will make it. You said you learned from this experience. That’s all you can do, and breathe. Tomorrow is another day. Hugs and hopes that tomorrow is easier.
anubha says
You’ve put it so well, Sarah. What doesn’t break us, makes us. Hugs to you as well. Sounds like it was a rough patch for you as well. Any learnings that I could take away?
Lisa Adams says
I wish you healing and peace. I hope this difficult time will be easier to manage with time.
anubha says
Thank you so much, Lisa. Like everything in life, this will also pass. Till then, I owe so much to all of you in the digital community for helping keep my spirits together.
Claudia says
Wishing you all the best in your journey moving forward! While we will always miss you when you are not blogging, your health and emotional sanity should come first! Thanks for everything 🙂
anubha says
Thank you so much, Claudia. For me, it’s been a learning experience in how we can’t do everything and need to step off at some point. At least for a while.